The Pitcher & Glass Technique: How to Give Feedback That Actually Sinks In
Have you ever tried pouring water into a full glass? It doesn't take a scientist to know what happens next—water everywhere, an overflowing mess, and someone left with a soggy table. Now, let’s bring this into the workplace: You’re the pitcher, filled with feedback and good intentions. The person you’re speaking to is the glass. But if their glass is already full—whether with their own thoughts, ideas, frustrations, or just the stress of the day—your feedback is going to spill over, and little of it will be absorbed.
The Overflow Problem
Picture it: You’ve got valuable feedback. You’re ready to help someone improve. But instead of creating the positive change you’re aiming for, you end up causing frustration or disengagement. What went wrong? Often, the problem is that we’re so eager to give feedback that we forget to make sure the other person has space to actually take it in.
Enter the Pitcher & Glass Technique
Here’s a simple but powerful shift in perspective: before pouring out your feedback, make sure their glass is empty enough to receive it. In other words, give the person the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings before you dive in with your insights.
Start by asking them about their take on the situation:
“How do you feel about how that project went?”
“What do you think worked well, and what could have gone better?”
“What’s been on your mind lately regarding this task?”
By opening the conversation this way, you give them the chance to "empty their glass"—to express their ideas, concerns, or even frustrations. Once they’ve done that, not only do they feel heard, but you’ve also cleared some space in their mind to take in your feedback. It’s like clearing out the clutter before you add something new to the room.
Why This Works
This technique is rooted in basic human psychology. When people feel heard and understood, they’re far more open to receiving feedback. On the flip side, if you start pouring out your feedback when their glass is full, it creates resistance. They might feel overwhelmed, defensive, or dismissive—not because your feedback isn’t valuable, but because there simply wasn’t any room left for it.
Think of it this way: You wouldn’t try to pour new information into a full inbox. You clear some emails out first, so there’s room for what’s important. The same logic applies to feedback.
Making Feedback a Two-Way Street
The beauty of the Pitcher & Glass technique is that it turns feedback into a conversation rather than a one-way street. You’re not just talking at someone; you’re engaging with them. When you ask them to share their perspective first, you might even find they’ve already identified the areas where you were going to offer feedback. This can lead to a more collaborative, solution-focused discussion.
Plus, the person receiving feedback often ends up taking more ownership of their development when they’ve had a chance to reflect first. Instead of feeling like they’re being “corrected,” they feel like they’re part of the process—an important distinction when it comes to maintaining morale and engagement.
No One Likes a Soggy Table
Here’s the bottom line: If you want your feedback to stick, don’t just dump it on a full glass. Give the person a chance to speak, clear their thoughts, and make room for your insights. It’s a small change that leads to big results. And, most importantly, it keeps the table dry—because nobody likes a feedback mess.
So, the next time you’re ready to pour out some feedback, ask yourself: Is their glass ready to receive it?
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